February 21, 2015

Happy Birthday

Hi Mom~

How's it going up there? Today is your birthday; if you were still here you would be 63 years old. I can imagine your laugh at that statement considering your life now. I bet those little thoughts seem ridiculous in light of eternity.

Well, I am glad that you are full of joy, full of awe, waiting for us to join you, but I miss you, especially today, especially now.

Did you meet Sam yet? He just got there yesterday. He was such a good friend, Mom. My heart is breaking. I didn't want him to go home, I wanted him here, with us, with his family. I thought maybe this time our Lord would...I thought, oh, after all his life was Christ.

I was just hoping...praying...

It's an ugly place down here, Mom. It's gotten worse since you left, I'm glad you aren't here to see all the chaos. No standard of right and wrong for the world, no understanding of good or evil, wickedness condoned and righteous living condemned. Even those who call themselves Christians don't know the difference, but then it's because they love themselves too much.

Oh yes, I remember, "that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves...Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof:"

And so I cry...weep...ache over Sam going home at this time.

He wasn't like that. He loved God, his family, he loved us. Did you ever meet him; you know the one that gave use of his land for our u-pick farm? The kids especially loved that he, like their dad, ate peppers hot enough to cause sweat and tears. He taught them so much about the land, and animals, and life in general. He talked to me intimately, like a brother to a sister. I loved that.

His wife is one of my best friends. I can't bear to imagine her loss, I'm such a wimp. Just thinking of her sleeping in an empty bed, of him not being there to read the Bible after dinner, I burst into tears. It hurts so much. I don't want her to be without him...even though it is just temporary.

Temporary feels meaningless when the pain is great.

Who will be a light in this dark world? For Sam, to live was Christ. His kind of people are few and far between. When they go home, what a loss!! Who will speak boldly? Who will love, who will
teach, who will LIVE Christ?

You and he were the same...your life was Christ...losing him makes me miss you more. Anyway, say hi to him.

Hey, guess what? I was in Fresno this weekend. I visited with Don and the girls. We had a beautiful time. Tina will have the baby any day now; she looks beautiful, and READY. Cheri and Lisa and I went to your favorite restaurant for drinks and decadent treats. What a comfort they were to me, I've been on an emotional roller coaster lately.

God is good, how he heals relationships.

Don has met someone. You might like her...maybe. It is hard for us to see him with another woman, then again, it is all so temporary, especially for him being eighty-four years old. We visited your grave site yesterday and prayed. I had never been there before. I imagined the day when "the dead in Christ shall rise to meet him in the air." Strange. You are alive now with Him yet...I wonder what that will look like?

As I go through life, every day a thousand years, I remember that eternity is at hand. Sometimes I get a glimpse of it here, amazing, but it is my hope in the now. I can't wait to see you, to be where things are Right and True.

I love you, Mom. I miss you. I thank God for you and your legacy.

See you soon,
Your Laura


4 comments:

  1. So much emotion and beauty in these words...all I can say is amen. Hugs Laura :)

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  2. Oh how I LOVE this post! I love it that you know and experience OUR Abba Father! (Betty)

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