October 20, 2014

Light or Darkness?

These days have been busy and troubled. I wake up and think, "This is it. I have come to the end. There is no way I can go on." But there, waiting for me, is The Manna, the grace and power I need to deal with my fears, my trials.

I am sustained!

I don't know how it happens. I don't know where it comes from, but there it is, just like the Widow's flour and oil. She despaired thinking it was her last meal, but no, every day there was enough, enough for that one day.

I walk in the light and comfort of His daily provision.

Uh oh.

There is a great cloud looming: dark, thick, churning, My Temptation. "Manna again? I want more. I don't want to be merely sustained. I want to be rich!" Arguing with the Lord, the sin of unbelief rears its ugly head. "This is it? This is all you have for me to live on?

I forget His promises. I forget His wisdom and His good will toward me, toward all men. Hating to wait, I desire this, that, and the other, not content to live day by day, not willing to stay close to the Father. I want to run where I please, to gather together all my plans, all my comforts.

But, even in my rebellion, the goodness of God leads me to repentance. The cloud thunders, the lightning flashes and there is no comfort at all in My Temptation, in my sin. It is so dark and I remember. I remember when my understanding was darkened and I was alienated from the life of God through the ignorance in me because of the blindness of my heart, before He made me see, before my first taste of the Lord.

O Taste and see that the Lord is good!

I turn back to my manna, to God's grace and peace. I can't see past this day, but I have what I need. It is enough. The darkness is gone and I walk again in the light.

We have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ; by whom also we have access by faith into this grace...we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience and patience, experience; and experience, hope.

(Romans 1:21; Eph 4:18; 1 Kings 17:8-16; Psalm 34:8; Eph 2:4-7; Romans 5:2-4; Luke 2:14)

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