October 22, 2014

Let's Dance!

Is it PMS? The weather? Life as a single parent? My job?

Color of the sky as far as I can see is coal grey. Lift my head from the pillow and then fall again. Shiver in my bones, just thinking about the weather. Quiver in my lip as if I might cry.
~ 10000 Maniacs

But no, I will not succumb. I write a letter to my mom, I shed a few tears, I make a pot of Jasmine tea and have some toast. Then I get ready to dance around the house, tossing in some laundry, stoking the fire, and setting my affections on things above.

Grab your child's hand! Kiss your husband, pet the dog and dance with me!

Remember this song is not just for you and me. It is for the person next to you also. Let us not condemn one another or look for perfection in our neighbor. Give Grace. Freely you have received, freely give.

Thank you father that all that you give you give ABUNDANTLY! We come at your invitation and we thank you! How good and kind you are to us.

October 20, 2014

Light or Darkness?

These days have been busy and troubled. I wake up and think, "This is it. I have come to the end. There is no way I can go on." But there, waiting for me, is The Manna, the grace and power I need to deal with my fears, my trials.

I am sustained!

I don't know how it happens. I don't know where it comes from, but there it is, just like the Widow's flour and oil. She despaired thinking it was her last meal, but no, every day there was enough, enough for that one day.

I walk in the light and comfort of His daily provision.

Uh oh.

There is a great cloud looming: dark, thick, churning, My Temptation. "Manna again? I want more. I don't want to be merely sustained. I want to be rich!" Arguing with the Lord, the sin of unbelief rears its ugly head. "This is it? This is all you have for me to live on?

I forget His promises. I forget His wisdom and His good will toward me, toward all men. Hating to wait, I desire this, that, and the other, not content to live day by day, not willing to stay close to the Father. I want to run where I please, to gather together all my plans, all my comforts.

But, even in my rebellion, the goodness of God leads me to repentance. The cloud thunders, the lightning flashes and there is no comfort at all in My Temptation, in my sin. It is so dark and I remember. I remember when my understanding was darkened and I was alienated from the life of God through the ignorance in me because of the blindness of my heart, before He made me see, before my first taste of the Lord.

O Taste and see that the Lord is good!

I turn back to my manna, to God's grace and peace. I can't see past this day, but I have what I need. It is enough. The darkness is gone and I walk again in the light.

We have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ; by whom also we have access by faith into this grace...we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience and patience, experience; and experience, hope.

(Romans 1:21; Eph 4:18; 1 Kings 17:8-16; Psalm 34:8; Eph 2:4-7; Romans 5:2-4; Luke 2:14)

Linking up to Arabah Joy

Arabah - button

October 12, 2014

Let's go for a walk!

Galloping Gertie collapsed in 1940 but was rebuilt by 1950.

The second bridge was built beginning in 2001 and completed in 2007. 

We are blessed to have watched the entire process, 
Having driven across it countless times we never walked it.

Let's GO!

If you click on the picture you may be able to see the people
on the beach below.

Taking this picture made my knees wobble.

The cables...it is a suspension bridge.

A large fishing boat sailing under us.

October 8, 2014

October Daybook


Wednesday, October 9, 2014

Outside my window...

Tempting apple trees.

To steal or not to steal? To knock on the door and ask to pick the fruit? Would that make me a beggar or a weirdo? Both?
Or should I just admire from a distance and watch the birds enjoy the harvest?

I am thankful...

For my children, for my husband
(yes, he is still my husband and I am thankful for him, I'll tell you more later).

I am thankful because God has put them into my life to make me into the woman He wants me to be, the woman I was created to be.

I am not me without their influence.

In the kitchen...

Grilled fish with pesto, rice, and salad.

candy corn...It IS October.

I am wearing...

Grey jeans with a long flowing teal blouse and a grey cardigan, black flats.

Me? In jeans? Wonders never cease.

I am hearing...

the quiet of an empty library and
my own heart beat... which sounds a little like this

but not too loud or the librarian may ask me to leave.

I am going...

To drive a junior high volleyball team to their game.
I took the JV football team to theirs earlier this week.

On my mind...

God's silence. Do you trust him when He doesn't answer? Do you wait? 
Isn't it hard? Yet He is worth it! He can be trusted.

Wait on Him. I am waiting too...we will wait together.

I am reading...

George MacDonald with the children

Pilgrims Progress or The Prince and the Pauper are up next.

Do you read aloud with your family? Ignore the rolling eyes and the negative comments and DO IT! In the end, they are likely to say (as mine eventually did) "Just one more chapter, pleeeease."

I am hoping...

To figure out my schedule.

I hate, hate, hate working outside of the home.

It's an adventure, which is good, but I didn't sign up for this one.
I like to be in control of my adventures.

If I take it one day at a time it is much more enjoyable.

An update and my thoughts...

Mr. Santos did not show up to our "settlement agreement" last month
 even though he arranged the meeting.
The judge and I sat around twiddling our thumbs until the time was up.

What does this mean?
We are still married.

Some say, "Good. God answers prayers."

What prayers?
Mr. Santos and I are still separated
and I don't see that changing soon.

Why is it that being married is so important to some Christians?
What's the use of a kitchen sink if it's clogged up and full of stinky, diseased water?

It is meant to be turned on, to have water flowing through it, to meet needs.

So many Christians are married yet living in sin...unforgiveness, hate, infidelity, disrespect. I am thankful for Mr. Santos; I pray for reconciliation.
Staying "married" is not my hope, being RECONCILED is.

Around the house...


A quote for today...

“Only he knew that to be left alone is not always to be forsaken.”

~George MacDonand, At the back of the North Wind

“Well, perhaps; but I begin to think there are better things than being comfortable.” 

~ G.M. At the back of the North Wind

One of my favorite things...

candy corn. Thank God it only comes around once a year.

A few plans for the rest of the month:

A job interview. Perhaps there is a light at the end of the tunnel
for this crazy schedule I have.

A picture thought to share...

Lovely, don't you think? Tell me you aren't tempted to walk up and pick one!

(Click on this LINK for other daybooks)

October 3, 2014

Glimpses VI

Camping in the front yard on the last weekend of the summer.

Just today Noah suggested sleeping outside. 
What's wrong with a warm bed inside?

Boring, Mom, boring.

Not only did she take my children home from violin class, 
she gave me flowers from her garden.

Good friends are a treasure!!

A happy visit from Grandpa!

This man is so special and dearly loved!!

Fixing the seal on my wood stove.

Noah and I taking care of faithful "George".

I held the flashlight while Noah changed the headlight. 
What a little man.

First fire of the season. 

We have been reading aloud every night from George MacDonald.

At the Back of the North Wind

I never tire of that story and sweet Diamond.

Naomi draws, Noah builds and I guess Sophia takes pictures while I read aloud.